Tea With Me: 27th October, 2021 Wednesday

I wake these days in the waning dark, slow moving as dim slides to open light. Arroyo’s singing wind chills me deeper into not yet, so warm here under blankets small bodies wieght, pulsing peace. Color opens every second beckoning me to day.

I erupt from dreams, hearing yawns and stretches, shifting rising bodies of these loving ones who only wish to hear me coo at all their beingness. They thrive on that. And I do too.

What really makes me shift up, boot my feet, pocket cell and earpods, don the watch and rise off sweet sweet bed is they all need a pee. I lift the small old one and the pup to floor and pick up the ancient lumpy girl who may get lost on the way out cuz at 15+ her marbles have almost all left her, and start the flow down halls to doors for all of them to squat or lift the leg.

The three littles get the front and sometime Wizard too. Pup Musketeer had a few weeks ago decided he liked to chomp the Wizard’s poo, so for a while Wizard’s poo happened not out front while I trained Musketeer no chomp the poo. He seems to be over it, thank the poo Gods.

Today is poo collection day for testing just in case someone is packing guests. Its early day and light is diffused and dim. As I move through the yards, the magic in this ground winks up at me. Its late October and every body’s leaves are singing through their last feeding days with rainbowed colored cadences. But the surprise for me this am is all the little single colored creatures scattered beaming color at my delight in them. And Apache Plume wafting its late feathers at me, oh the magic of this place.

This place I dropped into 16 months ago. This place so perfect for this shelter time. This place.

I am grateful.

I have made choices. This time, this ludicrous time, displays with scythelike clarity all our differences. And how we must choose. And those choices no longer have soft edges inoffensively contained by social contract ettiquette. I choose to hold some truths which some I love do not and in their holding other truths, I must not hold them.

If you vax, the truth you hold is mine and if you don’t, you clearly disregard my wellbeing even if you cannot see that disregard in your delusion fueled by your misinformation diet. I cannot hold you. I wish you safe. But I must discern our difference and distance. That is not an easy thing for me. But its goes so deep, this choice, it is instinctive.

Wind is singing now as I type. It is the Ocean of the Air, this Wind. It washes all. Earth’s Smashup. Alchemy, its essential business and Change, its lesson’s offering. In its song I hear my past, my regrets, the things I carry shame for, the anger I have felt and the reasons for the pain it masked. And how I love to find the way away from feeling it. And my Joy. I am all of that.

Becoming. We are always Becoming more. We are the welds of all our pasts and no part of us is lost. We carry all of it and all of it is rich. The thing is to learn to love it all.

Done for now. Must go test the shit…

Tea was green

Ta.