Tea With Me: 2nd September, 2021 Thursday
Rain last evening soaking cedar latillas scents the morning. Damp. Muted colors of this enchanted scape with a drenching rain shift their density. I move through the early patterns of letting dogs out and the view had changed. The Mountains rimming my view wear a cloud crown this morning. Almost Fall at 7000 feet.
I know I will get shit for some of this.
I have whiplash in my Heart. The passing of one and the arrival of another. Once again a relay of the Dog Angels. Her work with me was done and she waited long enough for the small Musketeer to enter her home and let me know, “Its my time to go…NOW!!!”
She has been coming to me in the last two days. I know she is waiting for my tears to end so she can fly. Her job, you see, was to hold me while I weep. She never made me cry but whenever something else did, she would always come. The first time happened when she was four months old and the struggle with my mother was shredding me. I had sat down on the porch bench and hung my head and sobbed. And that little scamp did the thing which let me know why she had come. She heaved her front half across my lap and leaned her shoulder into my chest and lifted her lovely head up onto my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and let loose. She stilled until I calmed, then she kissed my ear and hopped away to play.
Its not just about the dog. These tears. The fucking World. Lung Rabies, the abuse of communal health info, what we do and do not know, the Orange Idiot and all his Shit, the lack of ground wherever we turn, GOP Presdiential hopeful Governors keeping masks off children, friggin Texas and Florida, Afgahnistan, Ida, the Earth’s Rage at all our disregard, and my list is endless just like yours no matter where you hold faith.
We are all so angry. And remember, Anger is the flip side of Fear. We are all so frightened.
When did we lose Community? We are all about Enemy now. The Left will blame the Right and the Right will blame the Left. Its an endless circle of cause and affect/effect. And its never not been among us. We just can no longer wander far enough away to escape it.
I have been told to want to bridge the difference is Weak. But the stance of Wrong and Right is Brittle and we will Break.
We are not Strong as Wrong and Right. And we are Breaking. Already Broken, I am afraid.
I am so Angry. And I am Afraid. Of what us Broken means. Of how we will be living in a bit…or not.
I thanked a person on the phone who is just now getting her vaccine. She waited this long because she was not sure of what her body might do. I felt that way too. Instead of beating her with why have you waited so long, I said from the bottom of my Heart, “Thank you for getting the Shot.” The relief in her response came rushing down the phone, “Thank you for saying That.”
We are horrible to eachother these days. In our chosen corners of burning agreement at the causes of our Rightful Rage, we are fueling the Urge to War among us. I hear and read satisfaction in the Fall of those who are not vaxed, the Great Dieoff. The smugness in that phrase disgusts me.
I am soft and I want to love in peace. My Inner Amazon is dormant waiting for the moment of what might come down my road. And only then would I pick up arms to defend this place of peace.
But by then the peace would be gone.
We are here. At this moment. We are witness to all of this chaos and there is no normal now. There is only Now.
The Dude has brought laughter and sweet distraction. And Focus as the caring for all Puppies as they grow does. The World outside dissolves and only enters if I choose right now to look at that fucking APP on my little screen.
Be Grateful for your gifts. Be Kind. Be Grateful for those who now are choosing to get shot and leave the ones who fight with it to their own journeys. And offer Help where and when you can. And ask for Help if you are in need.
The Sky speaks of this as the last time we humans get a Chance.
Tea was Black and Creamed…
Ta.
Tea With Me 