Tea With Me: 21st December, 2020 Monday
Two weeks ago today Eldest called to tell me SIL had Covid. They are recovering after relatively mild experiences they could deal with at home.
That call was the moment Covid came into my personal space. It was threatening my loved ones. My fears have been incredibly difficult to keep at bay. I have asked myself and others if my Covid paranoia about not going out and not socializing are obsessional. No. I am Covid Chicken. And that is ok right now.
I also realize my reactivity relative to what friends and family tell me they are choosing to do or not relative to safe protocols and opinios about the Vaccine question is on a hair trigger. Judgement immediately comes to the fore and I found myself in two conversations with dear ones with whom heat in a discussion is never an occurence. Heat was brewing. One was about gathering with others and the other was around vaccine questions.
The Lesson for me here is until we have a blanket mandate from a government which is coherent, we are all choosing our own patterns of behavior around the potential of Covid. My personal spark for heat is hearing about behavior I have assessed as dangerous is unapologetic fear that whoever I am listening to may end up in an ICU setup in a parking lot as a result of their choices. I do not want that phone call.
So I am listening to those I am in contact with and holding back my knee jerk, “What the FUCK are you doing? Don’t you get the risk here?” An just listening and sending up a prayer to whatever light I adhere to that this soul who is risking themselves and their beloveds that they not end up in dire straights.
Its the Solstice. The Sun just dipped and the hours of liquid light color are beginning to play their synchopy along the edge of my world. Jupiter and Saturn come to full clench just about now visible for the first time in 800 years but they did this invisibly 400 years ago just about the time my ancestors landed on these shores to begin building their lives in the Great American Experiment. The Great Push Me Pull You in The Sky.
Dream Kite is flying low these nights and last nights shadow play presented an army of home invaders which played cat to my mouse. As I started to figure out they did not take my aggresssive defense seriously, I started to slash them. And they fell. I began to behead them.
I woke startled as I have never dreamt of killing anything.
Husband laughed when I told him. “Too much Game of Thrones!!!”
But I am not laughing.
A populace which doesn’t understand truth or science not complying with public health mandated practices has literally brought a life threatening invader to my daughter as well as limiting my life.
A sitting Lame Fucking Duck Asshole who cannot stand the Loss of Center Fucking Stage who holds meetings about declaring martial law in states he lost to rerun a fair election.
The Warrior in me is alight.
Tea was Earled and Creamed and Wine is just about to be Red.
Ta.
Tea With Me 