23rd July, 2019 Tuesday
Sunlight wafts dapple patterns across my chartreuse kitchen walls. The AC buzz white noises in back of play snarls and barks of pup who sits at my feet as I try to focus on what might reveal on screen today.
I am numb with waiting. Stagnant roil with change energy I stop before it bounds out beyond borders my choice commitments chain me to.
I have habits learned from way back which come to fore when I want to move but can’t. Or don’t. Can’t, you see, is always my own choice. Noone else decides but me. So I cop.
Habits which distract, disperse, delay and ultimately destruct the urge to move. Sabotage? Oh yes.
So I write again today.
The dogs, and more pointedly this shortstack pup with spirit large, has settled quiet at my feet. Only buzz of moving cool air is right behind me now.
So Gorge’s Wind. It moves when live, like sea. If I were feather instead of weighted in my form I would, could drift up high and far along in heights of sky, untethered to the Earth.
Or as Wind moves leaves whose shadow dapple the tank walls of my containing house, I might transmute to otter in kelp beneath the sea, playing, looping, floating fine with oyster prize across my chest.
She who is not a dog is sounding her displeasure and her need for different or her breakfast. I am back to me.
But need to drift form this time on Earth.
Dear fucking Jesus and all your fellow Angels full of Light, come tear apart this time when all our demon urges erupt volcanic charges voiced out from souls who see their only true purpose as the imperilment of others.
So Dream Kite, well, it drifted low enough for me to take a long beautiful vivid ride and snippets only now reside in my enfeebled memory. But fine it was, this ride. And wow, I wish I could treat you too to that sweet ride but it ain’t coming, not a whiff. So please forgive me.
Maybe if I feed the pack now playing on my feet, then when I sit back down, a whiff or two might drift across the screen. Hold on…
Many hours later and no Dream Kite Waft. Might be there tomorrow. We will see.
Tea was Earled, creamed and honeyed and then not.
Ta.
Tea With Me 