26th March, 2019 Tuesday
So it was horses trailing Dream Kite today. Not sure why but know they were there.
I am having trouble not blowing, no blasting out my frustration about something. This is political on the surface but it is personal also.
I am an empathic creature. I cannot help it. It is the default I was born with. Briefly the Astrology here is I have lots of Water in my Chart. Water seeps. It challenges and changes all its boundaries. Its taken me a lifetime to reign it in so I do not feel immediately enrolled in others’ oceans.
I am liberal and I am not a Trump supporter. I grew up outside of NYC and in early adulthood watched the rocket ride of the Trump Success Blimp burst. He is so clearly a cheat, a con, a mysogynist, a racist, a bigot, essentially a scumbag in all the ways NYC can create, I never could take him seriously as a candidate for President. His campaign was laughable to me. How could anyone entertain his campaign promises as being authentic in any way, especially since it was the marginalised, unemployed, uneducated, under privileged, rurally trapped populace who he was whipping in his storm? Those he was least likely to make a priority. The man is notorious for destroying anything he put his hands on that did not serve to line his pockets easily.
We all need leadership in some form or another. Those far from positions of effectively impacting the decisions made that affect their quality of life are most vulnerable to the liar who seduces with promises to alter the decisions that they feel have marginalised them.
They tend to be of a very different demographic than the one I occupy. I know that.
I am privileged in every sense of that word. I have means, education, I am white anglo saxon female who was raised in upper middle class suburbia and never had to think about survival at the level so many who voted for Trump have spent their lives never rising above.. When the reveal in the aftermath of the 2016 was his base’s demographic was a population part of which felt so left behind by the technological revolution’s arriving in the middle of their lives making their skill sets obsolete that Trump’s promise to bring back the Industrial Revolution’s fuel medium of coal suckered these aging men to check his box for President completely tweaked my brain. WTF?
The list of the incomprehensibles Trump has unleashed from the pulpit of his Presidency in the last two years is so numerous and so odious, I do not want to write it and would not want to inflict it on any of you.
Since March 15th when a 28 year old “alt-right” Australian man with rapid fire weapons unleashed death on worshippers at two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, I have found I am on the subject of Trump explosively angry.
That made me worry.
I am told from people who see deep that he is a lost soul and is here to just fuck around with us all in the name of his ego. For those of us who are appalled at his Bullshit, he is indeed the embodiment of our Shadow. The Shadow of all we do not wish to own in ourselves.
He has invoked The Shadow out of the mandated closet in our collective and it had come forth into our daylight.
Its damn uncomfortable, ain’t it, people? We all hate lookin at those dunce capped, white shrouded forms marching down our daylit streets. We all hate hearing the latest mind fuck alteration of the fact of the lastest real occurance. We all hate the angry blowfish mug we all hope to see explode on screen so we do not have to listen to another lie leaching our National pride.
We hate seeing our Evil Twin. The part of us that hates. That could rip apart a crowd that worships at something we cannot believe. We want that Twin to recede into the depths of silence where it has lurked starving in the Dark.
The image of Dickens’ Ghost of Christmas Present cloaking the starved children named Ignorance and Want with his ermined robe of largesse and magnanimity is floating through my mind. Hasn’t Trump unleashed our Ignorance and Want?
Someone I know vaguely but because of a connection thorough another friend, I gave him friendship status on FB. He reacted from his Trumpian platform about “If New Zealand can do it, why can’t we?” post. I rapid fired a blast at him, insulting and judgemental. And then I paused.
There are those who struggle with things that come so easily to me. It is an equivalent evil to verbally assault a wanting person as it is to aim a lethal weapon at a defenseless person. The wounding is just as annhilating. Ya, I know, the latter can stop your heart, but the former can destroy the spirit just as piercingly.
I erased what I had written even though it had erupted from a deep part of the truth in me.
But I am left with how do I authentically reach across a divide to the side I wish to be deaf, dumb and blind to because I have the unmitigateable response to it of potentially unleashing a destructive force.
Where will this end.
I am feeling this personally these days.
My interior hypocrisy, my Shadow, is alive and in full daylight. My hate for them is their hate for me. My Shadow is my Hate.
rurrrrrrrr, Yes, this is the soup of Mercury in Pisces Retrograde. My reveal is I hate like they do, I just choose a different gun.
So Harpo is an African Grey, a jungle creature living in the capture of my home. Parrots sound their landscape as their camouflage. They are a sounding mirror. He says, “I love you” quite a lot which pleases me as the mirror of my success at creating loving space. But once in a while I hear my hate bullhorned from his tiny chest throughout my loving house.
Tea is Green.
Ta.
Tea With Me 