22nd January, 2019 Tuesday
The monochrome of Winter has washed the landscape and me. Its hard right now.
I love it here. The headaches of nesting in this house are done and just when home the cost has been very very dear.
And then there is Dear Cheeto who is fucking with the World and makes the money ocean we all share swell and dip with the force of hurricanes which of course is what that Monster feeds his empty shell of worth. Oh Dear Gods, bring this horror to an end.
This week I am wrassling with the difference between what I want and what is true. What to do. Some hard conversations with facts I do not want to hear.
I feel like Dear Cheeto might although I hate to draw the parallel. All those inconvenient facts revealed which just might make his future oh so very harsh. The difference is he might go to jail, and I might choose to move.
Yes, we just might choose to move. Where we would go, I do not know. Why? It is largely a financial thing for the distant future. I am not clear yet what is best for us to do.
I do not want to go. I also do not want to live in fear of money slipping on.
There is a hardscrabble history to this place. And this is the beginning of our hardscrabble year or its the beginning of the move to somewhere else.
As the world reels from the shock waves of 2 years of Agent Orange, Brexit and global warming, I know I am not alone in puzzling the future.
Last weekend we spent at the Portland Rose City Dog shows which occupy the Portland Expo Center for 5 days. It was the biggest dog show I have ever been to certainly and for a green show dog like Zoi, it was a trial by fire. 27 rings. Three airplane hangar like buildings each of which might easily house two 747s, one just for the grooming stations and the other two host 27 rings and vendors with wide walkways for the sea of spectators and dogs flowing every which way. If Zoi was gonna spook and freak, this would have been where she did it. But she didn’t thanks to the careful tending of Goddess and Lord Roamer while we waited at their grooming station and Goddess’ lovely gentle presentation in the ring. Little floats on her lovely feathered pins in that classic airy way which leaves me breathless. She found a friend in sweet Dora the Explorer who engaged her in waiting in the wings play prancing while waiting in a sea of people and carts and dogs for her time in the ring. She now has five ribbons. Three for the three puppy bitch 9-12 month classes she competed against herself in, one for Winner’s Bitch and one for Reserve Winner’s Bitch. She did beautifully.
Now our hotel was right at the edge of the i5 as it hits the South bank of the Columbia on its way to Portland. One of the three Marriott children clustered in a line strewn across a parking lot on the edge of the Columbia, this Residence Inn was neighbored by a homeless camp. Small strips of grass and small planted areas which were host to all manner of animals relievings made the leashed toilette opportunities of our unfettered country bumpkin another challenge to overcome. Peeing and pooping in all those strange industrial spaces and walking in the pouring rain on slippery river burms landed me on my ass in the tall grass with a wrenched knee, not to mention what it was like for Little to be housed in the box of a hotel room for four days. Well, we almost flushed the whole idea Saturday morning.
And we are so glad we did not. Husband hated hearing her whine at the door and then only sniff everything outside and be distracted by the whole strange urban landscape with people, cars, construction, tents, and all the poo. He is such an easy mark for invocation of his inner Knight in Shining Armour. She is now his frothy Damsel in Distress. He adores her. And for two days not a drop of pee for me but a few rivers for him and one pile. She released for me on day four.
We stayed and hung out at the Show. She bedazzled her Saturday Judge enough to be his Winner’s Bitch and the 3 point major. And I stood with her and Goddess and her nice Judge for the photo.
Sunday she was Reserve but by then the show thing was easy peasy. She started to like on other Zois. We greeted interested humans who came to meet some Zois. And made friends with other Zoi people.
It was a good weekend.
My tax man says to wait a year to sell to avoid those dreaded capital gains. My psychic says this year will leave us padded despite the vagaries of the world. We looked at a house we liked a lot not too far away from here but in a town exploding urban sprawl.
This Wolf Blood Moon was lovely and so very strong for me. We will see.
Tea was black and milked today.
Ta.
Tea With Me 