18th September, 2018 Tuesday
Late today. Did all the morning stuff before sitting down to tap.
Oh, dreams, yes, I have one. In a big department store I am to buy a nice new shirt with my Oldest Daughter. She suggests we stop at the Lancôme counter because she likes a new foundation for her face. She insists I sit and have it to my face applied. Now she and I are so not foundation types but this is dream us, right? So I sit down upon a stool and a towering Lancôme Lady with a huge tube of multicolored goo lurches at my face. I flinch but she is good at assault of those who deign resistance and lands a blob or two around my face which I then rub in my skin. Now this goo has greeny blues and purpley reds and opalescent sheen straight out of tube but as my skin drinks it up it just disappears and I feel very different. I want some more.
Now this stuff should be able to be bought, right? She says she’ll look and then, poof, she’s gone and in her place is just some guy who grunts and opens up a drawer and cannot find anything like a Lancôme box. I look around the shop and spy a young woman in that special Lancôme garb and ask her for her help to find the opaled rainbow tube which now I cannot be without. I follow her into many rooms and in a special drawer she finds one last tube.
As I awoke in middle night after a full clear dream I vowed to remember all the ties which told that gossamer tale. Well, now the veil of waking sense has drawn opaque that door of memory. All that’s left is a tube of opalescent goo.
Why the new shirt, why the makeup? I know there was a drive for this but it is gone down the river of day.
I do know I was waked by a thump and whimper. I bolted up and could not see the Faerie Zoi who stretches every night between the borders my husband and I provide. Well, last night he was not there and she stretched and stretched a fell off his side of bed. I found her climbing on the sofa in the next room and I could not entice her back to my bed at all. Poor Zoi.
The Wizard came and curled up in my Husband’s spot. He does that when its emptied. We all went back to sleep and dreamed, of what right now I know not.
My Husband called as I was off to bed. His Papa time is going well. He is Happy. They had gone to Papa’s favorite spot to eat and ordered what His Mama would have liked along with all the other things they both like. And ate together, these two men, whose father son has not been easy for some time. It made me happy to hear how well it went for them. Last chapters are important, yes they are. Time’s comin to an end of sorts although we never really end. Its just a little different when we are no longer. But we never really are.
There is a thing around our dogs which draw some to each other. I have found some dear dear souls who share the space of Dog. I walk a little strange, as I’ve said, and found other Walking Strangers as I cannot help but follow the draw of Dog. We all hold Dog in sacred ways and when our Dearest Dogs do pass the way they must, we are hollowed in a way that those who do not Dog can only wonder at. Its a big fucking hole, that.
My remedy for those holes when I suffer them has always been to have another pup. For some they have to spend some time without. I cannot because that hole inside me left behind as they have to go is a hole right through my soul. Its key to me, that Dog thing. I have a soul hole I cannot fill on my own. Its only Dog that can.
I think of all the ones I’ve tended and beloved, and with them all has come great big lessons. They have guided me to find more of my Life. And I am truly grateful.
I know I am not alone in this.
As I watch Zoi People Mama find the healing path for Zoi’s Lovely Twin Brother, I know that he has brought to her the path of how resilient those embraced with love can be. And she has so so so very much of love.
He was at vet’s today for a how bad is it check and came away with nothing that will last. Just love and kindness, that’s all he needs, and that’s exactly what she has.
She is so mad at those that left this little guy in such bad circumstance. They will feel it, yes, they will.
But he is doing just right fine. Every day Twin Brother is much better.
Zoi Bath again yesterday, I coaxed her with some Super Treats. She almost took the bait. I had to help those front feet up into OH NO tub and the rest of her came after. Bath happened with the standing time which Super Treats made better. Then toweled off to dry her lacy frothy curls. I was so pleased that although she was not necessarily delighted with the trial of bath, she did hug and kiss me after all.
I took a brush to her coat as she was drying off. O my word, what a Faery Kingdom’s clothes she wears. So very very lovely, My Faerie Lady Zoi.
As I woke this chilly Autumn clean clear day, they all came forth for hugs. Its me first and then themselves they have to touch with so much joy in their little family. But I found I had no room as they had taken over this great big bed. I fell out on the side and went to dress and brush my teeth and they were all so happy to just go back to sleep.
Tea is just the same.
Ta.
Tea With Me 