8th of September, 2018 Saturday
Its a moody sky, the dawn was red orange and grey. Clouds. Oh the clouds. I have missed those clouds, floating kingdoms in the air. This part of the world cloud kingdoms come and do not leave for quite the while. They trail down the gorge in strata, low lanes move in different ways than sky. They have rhythm, cadence as they stream. Its a weather symphony to me.
I love this change. When I was child and then when I was Mama to children, this time meant end of summer and the busy hard work time. Not sure which was worse, the child in school me or the mother me who had to keep the pace of mother pack doing all this shit for kids. Keepin up. Damn stressful that.
Tea is green and I am trying to type on the couch which reassembeld yesterday. I love this couch. Its in an L and big enough for all of us to scatter all along. I perch in the elbow, feet stretched out. Dogs all settled. We had to move in several stages and I had in my scattered state not realized this precious thing would do just fine in the living room of this new shell. I though I would have to shed it. It had other ideas. It was mine and wasn’t letting go.
I have not felt this house was home until after two men left yesterday. They moved the pieces of my puzzled house. It was like opening that jigsaw box, brand new and knowing all the pieces fit but damn it takes a while to figure it out. It was all about the couches and the chairs. The perching places. They need to happen, those. The space just went, “Phew!!” A great big sigh. I am sure there is feng shue to all of this but I just had to wing it for a while.
All my pieces dribbled in. This was such chaos, the claiming of this perch on the edge of this mighty river. We all landed here at different times and puzzle pieces arrived at other times. The random of this move rushed us all to jump into it with both eyes closed cause it sure as shit was gonna be a great big fall. This was a dream thing. A what could this be thing. A great unknown with lots of hope and air and lots and lots of dream. And holding each other while we leapt. Leap of faith? Sure a shit. It is all my fault.
Lots of fear, lots of stress, lots of wow that didn’t happen the way we planned, a broken nose, a lower sale than we had thought, a husband hernia, a bit of marriage fuss on top. And then there were the angels come to help, including all of us.
So these puzzle pieces, inside and out, really didn’t settle in until the spring although all this shuffle started 15 months ago. Last time I had a peaceful time on this same couch was a year ago before I left it, not knowing if it would come or not. I am so glad it did.
A friend who does houses oh so well, came to visit a few weeks ago, and as I showed her my new shell, I saw her struggle to find things to say. She liked the pieces of this couch that were 2 stories split apart. I like the rustic rough, I said. “I can see that,” was her kind reply.
Its not quite shabby chic, my eye. Its comfort, roughened wood and color in open spaces that spread wide for large souls in people, dogs and birds to abide.
I could see it through her eyes. I knew it was all here, the pieces of my home, but how they all fit in this strange treehouse house was not quite there.
The plot arrived in my head shortly after. Its all here, its just a shuffle and some paint. Home is here, I can see it, its right here.
I moved my office all around. Ahh…that felt good. I needed muscles to move big things up and down the trails of stairs. I found them, ahh. The muscles came yesterday and, as I say, the settle happened right away. The couch collected all its part and fit right in the heart of this treehouse and all the rest settled in their fits. Chairs downstairs with lamps and stool. Big red couch moved up and ahhh, that’s better. It was as if this L shaped couch held the key. Its the Keystone from here to on.
Paint swatches arrived one day in my husband’s hands a few weeks ago. I have been puzzling walls and what to change. Its shifted day to day. And then last night upon the couch, the keystone color for this room arrived. Its a teal blue my husband picked for the room he had to have in the house he left his ranch for. I loved that color. It has its home here.
As I perched this morning with green tea to tap what ever started coming, the great big window revealed a Cooper’s hawk chasing down one of the small laying flock my daughter has tended so lovingly. Its probably a young one, that hawk testing out the local fare. Not my chickens, little bastard. Bathrobed and pyjamaed, I did trot out to fucking tell that bird to go fuck off.
Its nature’s way, oh yes. My daughter says we have that contract with those chicks we raise for food. We have removed their wild to thrive without us and for that we must make sure that others’ wild does not thrive on them. Well, the field is in a wild place with all those trees which home the wild flyers who do hunt that field. And we did place the unwild there to raise for food. Well, those high flyers want that food too. Its up to us, grounded and unfeathered, to protect the unwild in that field. So I did trot yelling “Fuck off.” The bird took off.
My daughter came from down the field wondering why Mama was bathrobed and pj’d screaming. Hmm, has she really lost it? Ha. No, just guarding those sweet wandering things you have so diligently raised and kept so safe. She doesn’t really let me help. I am fine with that as this is hers to hatch. So I left her to find all those huddled in the brush. They are fine those five little hens.
Zoi wanted oh so bad to attend me yelling at that hawk but I foiled her attempt to fly the gate. She watched me from the fence, so sweet. Wanting badly to go run. But not right now.
I did dream last night. One of them I will not share. The other was that I am driving down a dark road someone has told me has some golden thing which I will be joyous to have found. But the road is twisted and over treed and long and then there is a dark dark man come after me…
Ta from the Keystone Couch with tea…
Tea With Me 